my most creative act!!

This year I performed the most creative act of my 40s - had a baby!!! He is a beautiful addition to the family, and such a joy. Being pregnant again, after so long, has had me reflecting on the process of creating- especially the intensity of the first months of a baby's life. I have invested the last 5 months (probably more because I had pre-eclampsia during the pregnancy) in him and this has been good for both of us. It has been intense because he was 6 weeks premature and weighed only 1.7 kgs. What I have learnt is that if something is important to you then you do what you have to to make it work. I breastfed him (every 2.5 hours in the beginning) because it was what was best for him - and I enjoy it and think there is no better way for a mum and baby to bond than that!!! He is growing well - has a beautiful smile and has started to sit - all rewards, showing me that is has been more than worth it.

So maybe the lesson is that any creative endeavour that is worth it will require a whole lot of energy - I will need to dedicate quality time and resources to it to make it work. I have also realised that one needs affirmation - feedback to know that this is going well and it is worth it. This is where the sisters at the Panorama Breastfeeding clinic played an important part. Everytime I felt really tired - (about once a week), I would go in to weigh him, and to have a chat - and they assured me that I was doing wonderfully. I could see it, but having someone with no vested interest say that was very important. And they always gave me useful advice. So having a support system that cheers you on, and gives you support and advice is very important. The rest of the family - Faye, Sente and Victor , and the broader family- have also been great to0 - as have my colleagues!

Another lesson is about prematurity - I think the lesson is if an idea comes before its time, incubate it, nurture it, and be patient. Before too long it will be the right time. Looking at my little one now it is impossible to believe he was premature!!

So as I prepare to come back to work, I intend to take these lessons back into work.

Eating an elephant on the road between Entebbe and Kampala

What a year 2008 was - maybe thats why I have been away from this blog for so long!!! Looking at the global challenges facing us all in 2009 it feels as if we are being challenged to 'eat an elephant'!! The global financial crisis - and the implications this has for all people's of the world; the climate change, crisis in countries like Zimbabwe, the Gaza conflict, DRC, the simmering tensions between India and Pakistan, the upcoming elections in SA and so we could go on... So I am going to try and eat my elephant, one bite at a time!

The enormity of the elephant, (and maybe, the possibility of solutions) is probably coloured by the way the year began - first in Uganda, visiting my mum and sisters and being struck by what has and hasnt' changed in the political landscape; then back to SA, and tapping into the political dramas playing out as we approach elections. From home to home!

Travelling on the road between Entebbe and Kampala made me think of how that road was symbollic of many journeys in my own life. It symbolised comings and goings, beginnings and endings, pain and joy, great hope and great fear!! Going to Entebbe was about either saying hello or saying goodbye (the airport is there); it was about fun and laughter (trips to the zoo, botanical gardens, or the beach); it was about fear (the roadblocks and soldiers in the 80s; the intelligence guys at the airport); it was about awe and wonder (remember when the new airport was built adn how beautiful it looked at night? do you remember the guy who used to sell puppets or wooden sculptures on the road? or the beauty of the lake); and it has often been for me about coming home and leaving home - alone or with my children. And each time taking in and leaving with an experience of a different face of Uganda.

So what struck me this time? Things have changed - and am not sure it is for the best! I thought about Museveni, and when he came into power in the 80s, how much hope he brought to all the people of the country, a deep sense of peace, and a belief that we could change things in Uganda - kind of like Obama. We had, for the last how many years been living in a state of being paralysed by fear into a sense of what was possible, in a country where civil war had been raging for a looong time, where corruption and immorality was the order of the day - and Museveni was part of the war. And then he came into power, and almost over night the gun shots stopped, and the road blocks disappeared, and we began 'building the nation'. There was hope, a new sense of community and possibility.

And now over 20 years down the line and things are so different - the hope has been replaced, again, by a sense of resignation and defeat - maybe even fear, fear to speak the hard truths. There is a lot of 'development' but it seems that it is about individuals not the community - with little or no infrastructure to really support it; and little that is of benefit to the common man. People seem to say 'what can we do? the leaders are corrupt, they just care for themselves and their families, and we will do the same.' So the gap between those who have and those who don't has widened, the populations has grown, traffic increased but the roads are still the same roads we drove on to school in the late 60s and early 70s! The hospitals do not work as efficiently as they could, schools are a poor shadow of what they were and people feel hopeless ... The worst thing is the land and climate is changing too, and so the gardens that sustained us during Amin, and Obote 2 are not there any more - hunger and famine are becoming more common place!

I was left wondering 'What can we do? This is our country. We, wherever we are in the World, are where we are because this is our home. How can we move into action - believe in the power of the human spirit? Where do we find the courage and strength to challenge the status quo, to do new things to build a new? How do we find the leadership that is needed to move us out of this rut??? What can we learn from how Obama mobilised the American people, create a new sense of ownership and belonging, a sense that each person can make a difference - but they have to get involved to do that???? How do we move to a belief so strong that says 'Yes we can!', and then move beyond it into a space of actually doing - where we can say 'Look, we can!!' Am calling on all who have some thoughts to join me in my elephant feast - I know We Can - do you???